Lord, Help Dwyane Believe
Lord, all that diva needs is to believe, really believe, he can lead this underdog team. That no matter what everybody says, they can contend. Once we have that, once ...
Drug Companies Vie for Van Gundy Endorsement
When retired porn star and current Orlando Magic head coach Stan van Gundy decided to put aside his dower task-master persona and open up to his players as a kinder ...
Case Study: The Shaqifly Effect
There is a force rumbling within the NBA. A being so powerful in its presence, its shadow spans two conferences. This awe-inspiring force of nature is THE Shaquille O’neal. There ...
Rapper Pitbull Adjusting To Life In The NBA
*Update Below*
Miami native Pitbull is adjusting to the transition from rap impresario to point guard extraordinaire. Pitbull, born Carlos Arroyo, spent his early youth balling around the parks of Pincrest ...
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Morrison Amazed He Has Cash For Real Estate
Adam Morrison cannot believe he has the money to worry about buying real estate in this down market. To quote the Lakers small forward, “Man, I can’t freak’n believe I ...
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Grizzlies Tagged with Discrimnation Suit
Contract negotiations with starting small forward Rudy Gay went from tenuous at best to disastrously bad as word got to him that management was not willing to spend more money ...
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Hispanics being Wooed by ENE-BE-A?
Carlos Arroyo is the latest in a string of names being tossed around the league in hopes of attracting hispanic Americans. The Associated press reported the following today:
“The league ...
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Durant Desperate to Jump on Team USA
Oklahoma City forward Kevin Durant has been openly expressing his desires to be a part of Team USA’s 2012 campaign for Olympic gold. What isn’t so openly known is that ...
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The Stephen Jackson Diaries: Entry Two
Dear Diary,
I don’t think I want to be team captain anymore. I mean shit, all a captain does is talk to the refs and talk up the new bitches still ...
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Chris Quinn Signs Lucrative Endorsement Deal
Current Miami Heat third string point guard Chris Quinn has decided to become the new spokesmanthing for Progainpicia, the radical full body hair growth regimen developed by that company from ...
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Heat Cave to International Pressure, Arroyo New PG
In a surprising move, the Miami Heat signed journeyman point guard and Puerto Rican sensation Carlos Arroyo to a one-year $1.1 million dollar non-guaranteed contract. Heat coach Eric Spoelstra said ...
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The Stephen Jackson Diaries: Entry One
Dear Diary,
Fuck Nellie. Seriously, FUCK Nellie. The nigga’s a punk bitch. Fined for motherfucking cursing? You fucking kidding me? Shit, all Nellie fucking does is curse! I thought my fucking ...
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Philippines Excommunicates Spoelstra Over Arroyo
Upon hearing Miami Heat coach and noted Filipino Eric Spoelstra’s proclamation that the Heat’s point guard position was “Just fine,” Philippine president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo excommunicated the young coach from all ...
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Oh God why, why can’t you bring me an All Star