In front of Home Depot

Adam Morrison cannot believe he has the money to worry about buying real estate in this down market.  To quote the Lakers small forward, “Man, I can’t freak’n believe I have the money to worry about real estate. Do you know how damn bad this market is?”  The soon to be confirmed 2006 draft bust is suffering from circumstances foreign to many Americans in today’s downward economy.  He is facing a gut-wrenching dilemma regarding what he should do with his house in Charlotte N.C, while he continues to benchwarm in L.A.  Should he sell the Charlotte home?  Should he buy in L.A.? Should he sell in Charlotte and continue to rent in L.A.?  Should he sell in Charlotte and give up renting in L.A. to live out of his van?  Well, the last one Americans are getting familiar with.

Napping during Sweet Sixteen

Morrison, the 3rd overall pick in the 2006 draft, is still in awe of his situation.  “Everyday I wake, and right before I bake, I think to myself, shit, I’m an NBA player guaranteed to make Millions of dollars no matter what I do.  Hell, I still don’t know how I got picked three spots ahead of Brandon Roy.  Doesn’t the NBA have scouts?  Didn’t they notice how unathletic I am?”  Still, Morrison doesn’t feel bad about being paid excessive amounts of dollars for not playing basketball.  “I have a pretty serious job.  Someone’s gotta light the incense before Coach Phil starts his team meetings.”

Mistaken for Los Lonely Boys

When pressed, Morrison admitted he is leaning towards keeping the L.A. rental and the Charlotte home.  “L.A.’s a great place.  Even if I get traded I think I’ll still want to keep a pad here.  The girls are wild and they really dig me even though I get like no court time.”

Asked if he was worried about not getting a contract next year, Morrison shrugged off the concern.  “I’m not worried about that.  I’ve been cultivating the Mexican look for years.  Now that the NBA has their new Hispanic ENBEAY initiative, I figure I’ll pass myself off as Adam Gonzalez and get me some of that affirmative action.”