“The league will launch a marketing campaign on Monday called ENE-BE-A,  the Spanish pronunciation of NBA. Featuring increased TV and internet exposure, plus community projects, the NBA hopes expand its reach among a demographic that makes up 15 percent of its fan base.”

Hispanic Booty Trap

Holy shit! Has it really come to this? Has the economy become so bad that we are now outsourcing roster spots to the likes of Arroyo, Najera, Scola, Calderon, Fernandez, and both of the Gasols? I grant you that the level of ability ranges greatly between these individuals; however, doesn’t their presence mean that there are fewer jobs for many able-bodied Americans? It is hard for me to see guys like Jack McClintock and Earl Baron struggle to become millionaires simply because there are native spanish speakers who just happen to be much better players. Please.

By “Americans” I mean all non-hispanics… although this is not my definition but rather how society at large choses to see things. Some more overtly than others. In this context the word refers to race and familiarity rather than legal status. This issue came up during the last election as many politicians and pundits stoked racial tensions with discussions of two Americas and real Americans for the sake of ratings.

Blatant Pandering Ese

With the ascension of Barrack Obama to the nation’s highest office, hispanics are now only above Native Americans in citizenship power rankings. This is evident in popular culture. Next time you see a scary movie with a group of young teens running from a murderer or supernatural force pay attention to who gets axed first. Not convinced? Ask the hilarious hispanic maid that comes to the door in Family Guy to tell you “Mister Supemon no here” or any impersonation by “liberal” comedians such as John Stewart or Ben Stiller. (Someone should have informed Stiller that we don’t eat chimichangas in little Havana and maybe Meet the Fockers wouldn’t have sucked so bad). Hispanic Americans are the next group to be preyed upon, much like the unaware and horny teenager who gets impaled mid coitus.

It seems the NBA is content to exploit these poor hijos de putas the way all the ruling classes have done to minorities throughout history. Sure you could argue that it is about demographics and the near absence of soccer as a “real” sport in the USA makes hispanics a legitimate market segment to go after. This idea is not so far fetched. In his book, “Forty Million Dollar Slaves: The Rise, Fall and Redemption of the Black Athlete,” William Rhoden discusses the ridiculous imbalance between the money payed to black athletes and the power they wield in their own industry. My guess is more than a few NBA ballers read his book even if they would not publicly admit it. Yes Obama was black but never before had so many black athletes publicly supported a candidate with public service announcements and fund raisers. Guys like Lebron. And here I thought republicans bought shoes too. Well, sometimes you have to ride the horse that brung you.

So now it is time for hispanics to fill the void that black athletes left when they transcended their class rating. It is time for the Spaniards to grow Mexican moustaches and for Puerto Ricans to sell Tequila and time for Argentines to endorse Mel Martinez. Yes one large homogenous group with no relevant cultural distinctions. It is time for the Mencias of the world to popularize self-deprecating humor that can now be applied across the entire hispanic spectrum so that mainstream America feels better about its own thinly-veiled racism. The truth is the NBA cannot expand into this market without a poster boy to make it “okay” for their base. A “Tio Thomas” if you will or an O.J. Simpson.

As the NBA game slowly evolves with smaller, quicker point guards into an up and down game more akin to soccer, hispanics will naturally gravitate to it. It is only natural given the practicality of basketball courts and the logistical challenge of soccer fields in urban communities. These first pioneers will affect American society’s perspective, possibly more so than baseball where many hispanic players cannot even give a proper interview in English thereby reinforcing the stereotype of ignorance and implied third worldliness. One difference maker might be the existence of NCAA basketball opportunities for second and third generation hispanics as well as for the affluent ones. One can only hold out hope that this opportunity allows hispanics from all nations entering the NBA to have the mental fortitude and the intent to allow themselves to be portrayed honestly and respectfully. Until then however, Carlos Arroyo may need to sell some chimichangas if he wants his partially guaranteed contract with the Miami Heat to stick.