Prozac?

Prozac?

When retired porn star and current Orlando Magic head coach Stan van Gundy decided to put aside his dower task-master persona and open up to his players as a kinder gentler Gundy, he was anticipating more team unity and more wins.  What he wasn’t expecting was a slew of endorsement offers and an ongoing bidding war for use of his likeness by several major pharmaceutical companies.  “It really is surprising,” said van Gundy with a big goofy smile.

Waiting for his reward

Waiting for his reward

“I just got off the phone with my agent.  Pfizer is willing to throw in a lifetime supply of viagra for the entire organization if I agree to sign with Zoloft over Prozac.” adding, “You all have seen my films, you know I don’t need it.  But Otis (Smith) is really pushing me to take the deal.”  Orlando super star center Dwight Howard fully supports the move.  “Coach has been great.  He’s nurturing, supportive, and has even taken to giving us handjobs after the game if we get a double double.  Come to think of it, that Viagra would come in handy.”