After tasting own ass

There is a force rumbling within the NBA.  A being so powerful in its presence, its shadow spans two conferences.  This awe-inspiring force of nature is THE  Shaquille O’neal.  There was a time when the Big Underachiever’s physicality brought championships and finals appearances, or at the very least winning.  This is no longer the case as recent movements over the past couple of years have unveiled a startling pattern of chaos and destruction, not unlike a plague of mediocre rapping locust genies.  The Phoenix suns can attest to the sheer horroritude of having O’neal on their team.

Anonymous Suns Source

“When he came to us, we had the best record in one of the strongest western conferences in history.  By the time he left we were a marginal playoff team at best.” said an anonymous Suns source named Steve Nash.  “The whole Shaqsperience left a bad taste in my mouth.  Got any Vitamin Water?”  Now that O’neal has been traded, the Suns once again hold the best record in the western conference.  The case of the Cleveland Cavaliers shares many similarities.  Last year Cleveland finished the regular season with the best record, not just the eastern conference, but in the entire NBA.  Eight games into this new season, the Cavs have already matched their home court losses from a year ago and are on their way to losing home court advantage, if they make the playoffs at all.  The question is, will Cleveland be able to trade the Big Underachiever to an unsuspecting team looking to rehabilitate a veteran.  Too bad Pat Riley already had a go.