Upon hearing  Miami Heat coach and noted Filipino Eric Spoelstra’s proclamation that the Heat’s point guard position was “Just fine,” Philippine president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo excommunicated the young coach from all association with the Philippines until her distant nephew, journeyman point guard and Puerto Rican sensation, Carlos Arroyo be signed to the roster.

Spo is DEAD to me!

Spo is DEAD to me!

Oh Oh It's Magic!

Not Alone!

“There is no excuse for this travesty.” The world leader decried from her podium.  “The dramatic gopher and a brother named Mario who claims he’s from Alaska have no place in a lineup while my boy is still unsigned and alone.” To which Carlos tweeted, “Aunt Gloria, I’m really not that alone right now.  In fact, I’m having the time of my life.”

More as this international incident develops.