1/14/10

1. The old looked old and the young looked young as the Bulls grabbed the remote from Granddaddy Celtics and changed the channel.

2.  Cleveland may still be leading the East, but they’ve lead the East before and collapsed in the playoffs.  All is not well here.

12/07/09

1.  A.I.!!! Welcome Home Nigga!  Some words to the wise before you up and commit practicide…sell out crowds want sell out wins.

2.  Portland, never select a big man again

12/03/09

1.  Miami, stranded a mile high and sucking.  Help!

2.  San Antonio’s DeJuan Blair needs to be set straight on the floor-plan of a basketball court.  The chowda heads say thanks.

3.  The Rockets turn over the ball multiple times yet somehow still go on a run and beat Golden State.

11/25/09

1.  Darren Collison Brandon Jennings’d Brandon Jennings as the Hornets stole the game from the Bucks.

2.  What do you know?  The Pacers can win a game without Danny Granger.  The Clippers are a good morale booster for many teams in the league.

3.  Has Stephen Jackson found a home and a Daddy?  Maybe, as Charlotte beats Toronto by a lot.

4.  Boston beat the 76ers, but the game was closer than it should have been.  This kind of win 40 games from now should be a concern.

5.  White Chocolate almost took out the Heat.  Almost.

6.  Come on.  Cleveland is  a better team right now without the Big Underachiever, as shown by the win against Detroit.

7.  The T-Wolves lost to the Nuggets.  If anything this season shows the emergence of Cory Brewer as a legitimate NBA player.

8.  The Mavericks completely dominate the Rockets.  Completely.

9.  Monte Ellis is getting his points, but the Warriors still lose to the Spurs.

10. Nash the Assistor dished out 16 more in this win over the Grizzlies.

11. The Blazers beat the Nets, but Oden has to get the fouls under control or his game will continue to be stunted.

12.  Tyreke Evans is proving to be a powerhouse as the Kings crush the Knicks.

11/24/09

1.  Jamison steps up big time for the Wizards with Caron Butler sidelined with injury.  Phillie fans have started burning Elton Brand FatHeads.

2.  One day Larry Bird might actually realize that Danny Granger alone cannot win basketball games all of the time.  Fortunately for the Raptors, that day has not come.

3.  Fuck Dallas.  Golden State does all the time and seems to like it.

4.  Devin Harris is going to have to get his game back soon as the Nuggets mercy killed the Nets.

5.  Kevin Durant can own a team, the Jazz found that out the hard way.

6.  What exactly is Eddie Curry supposed to do for the Knicks?  If it’s suck, he did that in the six minutes he played in the loss to the Lakers.

11/23/09

1.  The Memphis Grizzlies finally looked like an NBA team.  Sure it was against the Sacramento Kings, but beggars can’t be choosers, or so they say.

2.  Mat Bonner outplayed a returning Michael Redd.  Don’t fret, Brandon Jennings still plays for the Bucks.

3.  Who’s that tall old guy making buckets and grabbing rebounds for Portland?

4.  Minnesota looses to the Clippers and laments the folly of passing on Brandon Jennings.

11/22/09

1.  A kinder, gentler Stan Van Jeremy coached the Magic past the Raptors

2.  The Celtics had to go into overtime to beat the Knicks.  Let the panic begin.

3.  Stephen Jackson didn’t score much, but he did a lot of everything else to put the Bobcats over the Pacers.

4.  Nobody ever gave Udonis Haslem nothing…except the ball twice in the closing minutes of the 4th quarter so he could save the day against a hobbled New Orleans.

5.  Nash is the sun this Phoenix team revolved around as they torched Detroit (lotta torching going on in the motor city now a’days).

6.  Kobe Fucking Bryant

11/17/09

1.  Russel Westbrook explained to Pat Riley in detail why he should seriously consider upgrading at the starting point

2.  Monte Ellis played a nice game for Golden State in this loss to the Cavs.  Who will he play a nice game for next?

3.  Danny Granger, Roy Hibbert and Dante Jones the core of a winning team?  Hey, it’s just the Nets.

4.  It may take a little longer than thought for Byron Scott to find another head coaching job.  Or it will if Jeff Bower keeps on winning without Chrris Paul.

5.  Is Steve Nash Ponce de Leon?  How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop?  The world may never know.

6.  Carmelo Anthony has a migraine so he only shot 80% and scored a meager 32 points in 30 minutes.  In a wonder the Nuggets pulled this one out against Toronto.

7.  This season if the Bulls score over 100 points, they win.  Course, today was the first day that happened, and it happened against the Kings, so don’t get attached to that statistic.

8.  Detroit needs to trade Rip for some value.  Until they do they will not be able to maximize their roster and teams like the Lakers will continue to pound them like bitches.

11/16/09

1.  Joe and Josh showed that J is indeed a powerful letter as the Hawks took a shit on the overtime trail blazed by Portland

2.  Brandon Jennings shot like crap but almost had a triple double in this overtime nail-biter.  Unfortunately, tall Germans can play ball too as Dallas came away with the win.

3.  Orlando beat Charlotte, but word is Nelson’s out 4-6 weeks making for a downer on a win night.

11/14/09

1.  Not even an on fire Peja could stop a fully loaded Atlanta Hawks team.

2.  Correct me if I’m wrong but Andre Miller is a point guard right?  Well, Portland won anyway, but against the Bobcats, what else are they supposed to do?

3.  The old guys looked old as the Pacers euthanized Boston

4.  The Wiz lost to Detroit, but little man Boynkins made a splash in his debut.

5.  J.J. Hickson, not the J.J. of Better Basketball Fame, continues to build off his recent string of good games in this win over a Deron Williamsless Jazz

6.  Dwyane “Fucking” Wade

7.  Speaking of euthanasia, Elton Brand needs to be put out of his misery as Philly loses to Chicago.

8.  It’s just the Timberwolves…but Mac Gasol can play basketball.

9. Brandon “Fucking” Jennings

10. Another team that may not be able to run away from age is the Spurs, as demonstrated by the trouncing they received from a young Thunder team.

11/12/09

1.  Shaq and Lebron still can’t play together, but the rest of the Cavs played well enough to extinguish the hopes and dreams of Dwyane Wade for one night in November.  Some things just don’t last.

2.  Only five assists for Steve Nash?  If you think I’m about to write “and the Suns still beat the Lakers.” You’d be wrong.

11/04/09

1.  Without the Matrix, the Suns fell to the Magic and their version of Mr. Anderson

2.  Two inconsistent teams fight it out and the Canadian one wins…go figure

3.  Arenas picked the wrong night to ballhog as Flash zoomed to another nail-biting victory

4.  Ty Lawson has his coming out party as the Nuggets brutalize the Nets in the second half on their way to staying undefeated.

5.  Led by Brandon Rush’s triple double, the Pacers showed the Donnie Walsh managed Knicks what for.

6.  Boston beat Minnesota.  No shocker.  The game was close.  SHOCKER!!!

7.  The second overtime win in a row has some questioning the Lakers.  Other’s, not so much.

8.  Chris Paul and last year’s Dwyane Wade should talk about what it’s like to completely carry a team.

9.  The Hawks are for real.  The East should worry.

10. Golden State…more than meets the eye there.

11/03/09

1.  Young Coach Spoelstra of the Heat up and lost it in the 4th quarter as the Canadian Vampire sucked the lifeblood out of the AAA.

2.  Washington started off hot then “Wizzed” away its early lead as the Big Underachiever finally made his presence known on the court.

3.  The Pacers couldn’t buy a 3-pointer as they lost badly to a surging Nuggets team

4.  Look on the bright side 76er fans, at least you beat Boston at the line even though you were beaten by Boston everywhere else.

5.  Somewhere out there Stan Van Jeremy just popped a vein from seeing that game, and no, not that vein.

6.  If Brandon Jennings were on a real team, he might have actually won this  game.

7.  Lakers in overtime against the Thunder.  No, your eyes didn’t fool you, Lakers in OVERTIME against the Thunder

8.  Carlos Boozer and Paul Milsap continued to compete for who can under-perform more in this loss to the Mavericks

9.  The Atlanta Hawks might very well be for real as new addition Jamaal Crawford bitch-slapped the Blazers back to the front of the trail they walked in on.

11/02/09

1.  Lazy

11/01/09

1.  Udonis Haslem made a compelling case for that contract dangling at the end of this season in a clutch win over the healthy yet mediocre Chicago Bulls.

2.  Steve Nash dished to everybody and their moms for a crushing win over the Timberwolves.

3.  Toronto has yet to decide whether they want to be a real basketball team or just some half-assed Canadian knockoff

4.  The Menacingly Jolly Green Giant that is Boston clobbered the Hornets with their big clubs.

5.  Allen Iverson continued to sit out on homecoming revenge plots, once again aiding by inaction the punishment of his current team.

6.  Portland has yet to decide whether they want to take this season seriously.  The Thunder couldn’t decide whether the point of the game was to put the ball in the hole.

7.  Atlanta played possum at the end of the 3rd quarter and didn’t wake up till it was far too late as they get molested at the dirty Hollywood hands of the Lakers.

10/31/09

1.  Chris Kaman returned as the albino ogre from the Lord of the Rings tacked on 27pts and 11 boards.  Tragically, this was not enough to stop the Clippers from sucking the life out of the arena and slumping to 0-3.

2.  Despite early injury, The Wizards bounce back from a tough loss to Atlanta to pounce on the easy prey of the New Jersey Nets.  The new owner vows to weaken the legs of Arenas with a bevy of escorts the next time he’s in town.

3.  Another Cleveland win without Shaq contributing has area residents pondering trade scenarios with Golden State.

4.  After having a Rocky 1 moment the night before in a double overtime loss to the Bobcats, the Knicks decide to forgo the sequel and relieve the first movie again by going the distance against Philly and coming up just short of victory.

5.  On a night when Roy and Aldridge combine for a total of 69 points the Blazers still lose, and to Houston.  The place is starting to smell like the Hornets locker room from the beginning of last season.

6.  Brandon Jennings can play basketball.  Detroit just found that out.

7.  Nobody for the Spurs played more than 27 minutes in this mercy killing of the Kings.

10/30/09

1.  Lazy

10/29/09

1.  Everybody on the Bulls pitched in for the surprise win of the night as the Spurs showed some weakness on the road.

2.  Brandon Roy and Rudy Fernandez are no Carmelo Anthony and Chauncey Billups.

10/28/09

1.   A triple double by L Bron proved wholly inadequate as the Shaqsperiment continued to implode.

2.  Orlando scored more points in the second quarter than Elton Brand did all of last season.  Maresse Speights continued to show that not only is he the future of the 76er’s, he is the present as well.

3.  Charlotte spread teh scoring like Larry Brown spreads the love…meaning there was none.

4.  It turns out Danny Granger alone cannot beat the Atlanta Hawks.  That is why it’s called a team sport

5.  The new Spurs pieces work a lot like the old Spurs pieces work…really well.  The disgruntled Chris Paul rumors can pick up in earnest now.

6.  Canadian Vampire Steve Nash willed his team to victory over the L.A. Clippers.

7.  Dahntey Jones answered the question, “Who the fuck is Dahntey Jones?” in a big victory over the Utah Jazz

8.  The Timberwolves beat out the Nets in the “young and mediocre” battle of the night.

9.    The Oklahoma City Thunder continued to show why they are the Portland Trailblazers from two seasons ago.  The Sacramento Kings continued to show why they are the Sacramento Kings from two seasons ago.

10. Allen Iverson sat out on his chance to stick it to Detroit.  Advantage Detroit.

11. Jermaine O’neal can actually play basketball, even if for only 30 minutes.  Tim Grover’s fees double over night.

12.  Houston, we have a problem.  It is not Golden State though.

10/27/09

1.  L Bron Hubbard and the Big “Underachiever” couldn’t hang with three old guys and a raging hardon (Rajon Hardon).

2.  Agent Zero proved to be a hero dropping 29 points and 9 dimes in a triumphant return to the league he loves.  Dallas Proved once again they have yet to recover from the D-Wade devastation suffered in the finals of 2006.

3.  Shockingly, Aaron Brooks, Luis Scola, Shane Battier, and new comer Trevor Ariza were not up to the challenge against a maturing, well stocked, Portland Trailblazer team.  Truly, truly, shocking

4.  Baron Davis’s formidable facial hair was powerless to stop a stacked Lakers team as the Clippers continued their existence-long trend of sucking.